How Do You Like Your Eggs?

Remember the movie Runaway Bride with Julia Roberts and Richard Gere? Theres a breakfast scene where Richard Gereasks Julia Roberts what kind of eggs she likes.Her response is Whatever youre having. She had no clue how she liked her eggsbecause she always ate them however the man she was with at the time atethem. He said No, what kind of eggs do you like? And they proceeded to try all the differentways one could eat eggs, until she decided for herself that she preferred eggsbenedict.

Remember the movie Runaway Bride with Julia Roberts and Richard Gere? Theres a breakfast scene where Richard Gereasks Julia Roberts what kind of eggs she likes.Her response is Whatever youre having. She had no clue how she liked her eggsbecause she always ate them however the man she was with at the time atethem. He said No, what kind of eggs do you like? And they proceeded to try all the differentways one could eat eggs, until she decided for herself that she preferred eggsbenedict.

Unfortunately, I find this a common problemamong women. Too often we aim to pleaseand over-accommodate our partner in ways we wouldnt do once the honeymoonphase of the relationship is over. Theproblem from his perspective is it appears over time that weve changed. Well insist that we havent, but we forgotwho we were pretending to be in the beginning because we cant keep the charadegoing forever.

I know, because I did it for all of myrelationships until I figured out how to be authentic in a relationship. I insisted that I wasnt going to settle forless than I deserved again, and in doing so, I discovered a whole lot of thingsabout myself during that self-growth period.

When I determined who the real Stacy was,what she liked and didnt like, I realized that I didnt need to pretendanymore. My man would like the real meor I would move on. If I couldnt besilly, goofy, snort when I laugh, fart in bed, or tell racy jokes with the manI was with, then he wasnt my guy.

I committed to being 100% my own authenticself in my next relationship and I have been.As a result, I have never been happier.Mario tells me at least a dozen times a week, Youre weird - and I loveyou for it. He doesnt always say thoseexact words, most times he just says Youre weird, but hell follow it upwith a hug or a kiss or a playful fist bump to my shoulder, or some otherendearing gesture. He always says itwith affection and I know Im loved.

I asked him this morning what its likefrom the guys perspective to be in a relationship with a woman and witnessthis change. He said, The truth comesout eventually, and then theres a reduced feeling of trust. When there isnt trust in a relationshipwhats left? It usually begins to fadeafter that. Sometimes you stay togetherjust because its easier than leaving, but who wants to be in a relationshipwith someone you dont trust?

He also mentioned that many of his friendshave this belief that women change after marriage, which is why so many men arereticent to get married. Based on ourbehavior, even if we think its for an admirable reason because we care aboutour partner and we want to please them its really because we want to pleaseourselves by receiving approval.

Your desire to please stems from ultimatelywanting approval from your parents. Thisis evidenced by the fact that we tend to date people who are a reflection ofour primary unhealed parental relationship.In order to be fully authentic in your partnership with your mate,youll want to heal as much of that relationship with your Mom or Dad aspossible. A book that helped me verymuch that you can find on the Personal Growth & Healing page of my websiteis Making Peace with Your Parents byHarold Bloomfield, MD. There areexcellent therapeutic exercises in there that I know will help you.

Next, youll want to have a period ofself-reflection, similar to Julia Roberts, and ask yourself; What do I reallyenjoy doing? What kinds of foods do Ilike to eat? What shows do I want to watchand what books or magazines do I prefer to read? Try for a week to only do things that youwant to do. Practice saying No tothings you dont want to do.

Pay attention to how you behave with yourbest friends and reveal some of those elements with your next few dates. If he runs for the hills because you took toobig a bite of spaghetti and you have a strand hanging from your mouth that youslurp up and giggle like a five year old after, then hes a man who is unableto appreciate the small joys in life of having fun acting child-like. (Theres a difference between childish andchild-like but thats a topic for another day.)

Figuring out what makes you happy will makeyou happier in your relationship and thus allow you to help make your manhappier. Trust me - your man doesntwant to have to figure you out. He wantsyou to show up as you are, so he has the freedom to show up as his authenticself too.

Guys arent good at pretending, and if theyare, I would run the other way. A guywho seems too good to be true could have had too much practice at deceiving hispartners. (See how the trust thing goes both ways?) Also, if he feels he cant measure up to you,he wont stay very long because it will feel emasculating to him.

Mario loves that I act bizarrely at timesbecause he doesnt have to figure me out, he knows what comes out of my mouthis the truth, he has the freedom to be himself too, and as a result, we haveunconditional love and trust in our relationship.

I know that you want those same things, soheres the summary of the ways that you can practice being more authentic andattract true love with your dependable, original guy:

1. Heal your relationshipwith your parents so you dont always need others approval.
2. Find out what you truly enjoy in life.
3. Say NO to things you dont enjoy doing.

4.Find opportunities to act quirky with the opposite sex.

Commit to act authentically so you increasethe level of trust you have in your relationships. Be true to yourself, bereal, and youll soon be in love. Ipromise.